I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
