he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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