I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
