From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Semen is not good for contacts.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
