i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
