Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
