so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
