I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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