You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
