loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
