You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize