just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
