You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
