Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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