She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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