Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
