Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
