I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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