Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Randomize
