i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't deserve a penis
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
