Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
