he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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