You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
