a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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