it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm passing your future prison.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
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