I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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