There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
