I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
