gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Couch. On fire.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
