Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
As shirtless as possible
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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