are you so shy because you have an std?
you would pick up someone in the library
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
