everyone is single if you try hard enough
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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