If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
