Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
