sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
