ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
