9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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