Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize