At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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