the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
