I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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