we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
