Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
