4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
