You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
