hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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