You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No more Irish car bombs ever.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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