Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
