I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
