Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize