I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
