New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
