tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
