these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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