This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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