He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
