So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
