I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have feelings that need drinking.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
