All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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