Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize