Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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