Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
