My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
