I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
