By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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