I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
