you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
