i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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